Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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