My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
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You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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