I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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