I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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