apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
