I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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