i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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