It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
