this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize