wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
