You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
