You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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