I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
