RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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