put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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