if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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