Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
