I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's rum buckets o'clock
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
