You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
