If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize