Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
