Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
