Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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