What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize