I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
