We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
