Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
