I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize