Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
