All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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