dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
