I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
