Everything about him screamed your future.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
