I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
a search helicopter?!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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