I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
