I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
