Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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