i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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