My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
