You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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