Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
