you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
