Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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