when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
