: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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