Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
