i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
