i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He did a backflip because drugs
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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