corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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