Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he puts the penis in happiness.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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