he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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