i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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