I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
