apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
