thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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