It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
