Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
