Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
