Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
