I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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