whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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