so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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