i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
