Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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