I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
