i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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