No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
