i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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